When I mess up…I have a tendency to want to quit. To throw it all away. It’s easier a lot of times to face the failures when you quit-when you intended to fail…rather than face the failures when you are throwing yourself fully into a project and still don’t succeed. That being said…I haven’t been doing very good at my project for the past week and a half. I messed up one day…that lead me to not to not try very hard since then.
The difference, however, is that this time I am not starting over, I am not quitting….I am just continuing to try…even if I probably won’t have the grand results that I would have had if I was just perfect. I want to…I really want to throw this project again…becuase I have a little perfectionist button that is very triggered at the moment. But that’s not the point of this experiment.
The Very Human Experiment is intended for growth…not perfection. It was intended to be built for someone (me) that is very flawed and has a lot of room for growth. So-for the sake of my experiment…I am attempting growth. I will attempt to just -continue- rather than throw it all away.
I am writing this post…honestly for myself. I need to be able to look back when I am all grown and healed…and see that this was difficult…and that I had to work really hard to push past old tendencies. So…future Kayte-I want to quit…but I am not going to. Not this time.
Thanks for reading if you did…always grateful for an audience for my written dramas. That’s all I have for my experimental update for the day…I slipped up…I fell down…but I am trying to just get back up and keep trying. I hope you all have a good night.